The Conservative Right Has Run Out of Stories
Boats, Ghosts, and Empty Boasts
Is it me, or is the conservative right (small-c, small-r) completely losing its sh!t?
Here’s a quick breakdown. They do not accept that Sunak or Kemi were ever “white enough,” so they have abandoned them at least until a pale male takes the helm. Immigration is the only thing they can complain about, but that will run its course; it always does. In the meantime, we’re left with a Labour Party indistinguishable from the Tories, offering no real plan or solutions beyond “stop the boats.” And then there’s Musk and Vance from overseas, stirring the pot to make their domestic agenda palatable here. It’s a shit-show.
It’s not just you noticing this the conservative right is in a political death spiral. They don’t seem to know whether to fight, copy, or cannibalise each other.
On the leadership side, it’s glaring. Sunak and Badenoch were never fully embraced because, for the “flag-and-spitfire” crowd, conservatism is still about a pale male in a suit. They’ll smile and clap when it’s convenient, but the moment authority falters, loyalty evaporates. It’s identity politics in denial: demanding “British values” but only if delivered by the right complexion.
Immigration remains the only consistent drumbeat. Brexit’s lemon has been squeezed dry. “Levelling up” was a con. The economy is locked in a permanent state of managed decline. So what’s left? Boats. Always the boats. They know it isn’t a solution, but as a distraction, it still works until people clock their bills, rent, and taxes rising again, and boat-talk fades into background noise.
Meanwhile, Labour has drifted into an anaemic clone of the Tories, managerial, timid, indistinguishable except for the branding. Reform shouts about betrayal without ever outlining a credible alternative beyond “not this lot.” And then you’ve got the overseas influencers Musk, Vance, and the culture-warrior think-tank pipeline feeding soundbites into Britain’s bloodstream so that politicians here can import American rage politics without the American context. The result is a shit-show copy of a U.S. cable news segment, only worse, because it doesn’t even fit our political or social reality.
What you’re seeing isn’t just the right “losing it.” It’s a vacuum where ideology should be. They’ve run out of stories to tell, so all they have left is grievance, imported culture wars, and recycled scapegoats.
Disclaimer:
This piece is part of an ongoing series exposing the political class in Britain. It’s written with sharp edges, the occasional profane jab, and zero interest in keeping Westminster comfortable. If you’re after balance, polish, or polite euphemisms, you’re in the wrong place.